Sometimes, our minds can run wild with the worst-case scenarios, throwing up all sorts of ‘What If?’ questions.

• What if I my baby gets sick?
• What if one of my kids gets hurt at kindy?
• What if I’m terrible at my new job?
• What if I can’t think of anything to say when I need to?
• What if my landlord gives us notice to move out?
• What if this person doesn’t like me?

You get the idea.

 

This type of thinking can show up when we feel apprehensive or anxious about the future or something stressful.
Having worst-case scenarios and ‘What Ifs?’ pop into our minds can cause stress and anxiety, too.
Sometimes, it’s unclear which one comes first: it’s like the old question about whether the chicken or the egg came first.

 

The problem with ‘What Ifs?’ is that they usually stop people in their tracks. ‘What if this bad thing happens? Oh no, this will be terrible, and I won’t be able to cope.’
Because it seems terrible, and we feel bad (and worried!), we expect that we will also struggle similarly in the future if it does come to pass. (It may also spiral into imagining multiple other bad outcomes, reinforcing the worry).

It can be so helpful not to stop there. To answer the ‘What if?’ concern. Answering these questions switches you from stressed or anxious to problem-solving and coping. As an example:

• What if one of my kids gets hurt at kindy? The educators will call me, and I will drop everything to get them (if it is that bad), and then I will do what I need to to help and take care of my child.

 

• What if I’m terrible at my new job? Nobody knows a new job on the first day. If I have trouble getting across the learning curve, I can ask for extra help to ensure I get it. I can study up on what I need to. If it’s really that terrible, I can find another job that works better for me.

And so on.

 

Sometimes, answering the ‘What Ifs?’ makes you realise that you can do things, and that you’re not just a passive recipient to worst-case scenarios. 

Observe your thoughts. When you catch these questions in your thoughts (or for someone else), try gently asking, ‘Well, what could you do about this?’ and see what comes out.
Flip that switch into problem-solving to take you out of the worry.

And here’s another way to explore worse-case scenarios and ‘What Ifs?’. This one involves evaluating the likelihood of these concerns (with a bit of problem-solving thrown in, too).